Boy is that a mouthful!
Well, I am not one to use flashing blinking suns, and I am NOT Pollyanna, but, well, WHY NOT? Why not approach every single day realizing that it is brimming over with potent possibilities abundant? I have spent a great many days in my life sad, depressed, overwhelmed, living in fear, and more, and where did it get me? Nowhere, except to bring everyone around me down. The new year has dawned and I decided to take a new tact. I will no longer dance with fear. When fear comes knocking at the door I will say, "There there, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge that it feels that way right now, but please step aside, I've got work to do." I am learning, I NEED to learn and to remember, that fear is just an emotion that rises with the tide of life's currents and drifts back out to sea. It comes and it goes and it will always be present. We think we are supposed to fight fear, you can't fight fear, you give it it's due and then step around it. You can't ignore it because then it becomes the elephant in the room that you are trying to pretend isn't there and it just gets bigger by the second. I can be afraid and get on with life anyway. Or so it is my practice this year.
In the past month and a half I found out that I have a health issue to deal with, I've said here that I have a lot of weight to lose (and I'm losing, I'm losing!), and most importantly this is the year that a lifetime's worth of work and writing and teaching are coming together to create the business/income that will take care of me on into the future. And the more things that piled up that I hadn't expected (More frequent doctors visits than I have had in my life, dealing with checking my blood sugar ongoing, getting all kinds of things checked out under the hood, so to speak...) on top of the pressure to "perform" in terms of my work nearly put me over the edge this last week, I'm talking about a crash of major proportions. My very dear friend, plus a very kind woman, and a magical mentor have seen me through this week, and then I got up this morning and, having taken care of the nine animals, and my morning routines, I sat down here with my coffee and wee tiny Penny pug in my lap, and I looked out of my studio windows and I said out loud, "This is the most glorious day of my life!" I wasn't sure how, or why, or what would make it so, but I thought I had the cards stacked in my favor just by saying it, singing it, BELIEVING IT! And by gosh and by golly it's been a doggoned good day!
I sat this morning in bliss in a pile of art supplies working on the cover of a book that will be hand-done (I'm revising this part of my website if any of you have noticed that it disappeared!), MAITRI'S GREAT BIG ENORMOUS DREAMBOOK. I just felt flippin' joyful doing it. I'm grinning looking at it right now and I'm not even finished. I have spent, literally, years wanting to do a book like this, and it has been working with the marvelous SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) (And oh she so totally ROCKS you really need to click on the link and go to her website. but I'm sure most of you know her many fabulous books that have brought so much JOY to the world!) since last July that let my serious soulful writer self and my joyful playful writer self (...who thought they weren't supposed to co-exist together lest people point their finger at me saying, "There she goes being all bi polarish again!") hold hands and realize it was okay to play together. I am also writing a book called The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook and it is really coming along, more than 50,000 people have read pieces of it on Facebook, and Susan (SARK), my glorious writing mentor, has sent me such glowing praise and support for this book that I am floated on her encouragement, and the projected publication date for this book is April 30, 2013, my 59th birthday. Wooohooo! And, then...
Fear throws rotten tomatoes at me and tries to make me run for cover, but I speak to it politely and step around it and keep on going. I am also learning to let go of a lot of things that were important to me because being realistic about what we can and cannot do and letting go of everything we can makes space for that which we know we must do. I am making space, this year, for realizing a long held dream, and learning how to do it, bi polar and all. Facing days that can make you teeter-tottery off balance but knowing that there's a good life to be had if you play your cards right, well, it's been a big lesson for me, and this year I'm getting it. I have read and heard the same thing over and over from different books, during teleseminars, and so many teachers it is as though, well, I might be slow on the uptake but I realize that this is a message I was supposed to get. The question is: "What are you willing to do to make this happen?" "This" being making this the year I get serious enough about doing and not just dreaming. And I will always be a dreamer, but this is the year I become a do-er too!
And so, for me, there is only one way to approach life. Call it positive affirmations, call it belief in something greater than yourself, or just good old fashioned wisdom like what my amazing mother said in her last years as she was dying of a devastating cancer. She said, "Every day's a good day, it is what you make it." And she said that on her worst days, ravaged by the cancer, having gone blind, in pain, she still said it. So if I get up each day and say, "This is the most glorious day of my life!" I may not know what will manifest, how the day will turn out, what surprises, delights, hurdles I might have to jump, or teeter-tottery days I will have to work hard to balance, all in all each day is the most glorious day in our lives if we let it be, because what other choice is there? At least that's the path I'm taking. It's my yellow brick road.
I'd like you to know that tomorrow morning, with a tiny blind pug in my lap and a host of little critters all around me, I will raise my coffee cup to you and say, "This is the most glorious day of our lives! Here's to you!" I know we can do it, you and I, so let's have at it!
Tomorrow is a whole new day, and it is going to be the most glorious day of my life.
Warm Regards & Great Joyful Blessings to All,