Saturday, September 20, 2008

Someday The Train Will Come ~ Believing In Your Dreams...

"Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come."

~ From the movie, Under The Tuscan Sun ~

Based on the book by Frances Mayes

The train is coming...

When my marriage ended in the spring of 1999 I had no idea what my life ahead would bring. First I was too caught up in the emotions of the moment to think ahead, and then I was too afraid because I couldn't see ahead and I didn't think life would ever be anything approaching normal again.
As the years have gone along I have imagined a thousand different directions I might like my life to go in, but I never dared dream of a full life, a happy one, and certainly not a house of my own. I never imagined it until I saw an old farmhouse in the middle of town. All of a sudden, my spirit lifted and I was swept away at the very thought of being able to live there. You see, this wasn't just any house. No, I have loved that house for the 15 years we've lived here. Now, alone, I see it as a place I could spend my life in and be happier than I ever thought possible. It's on the market now but hasn't sold, and I can't buy quite yet, but I can dream. I can build those train tracks in my mind, and believe that the train will come around those tracks just at the right time. Please dream with me. Say a little prayer and sprinkle a little magic fairy dust and imagine one woman, one big black dog, 4 little pugs, 6 parrots and one beta fish named Vincent living there (Not to mention the partridge in the pear tree!).

I can't remember when I've wanted anything this much and it is absolutely perfect for me. And I have wanted an old house all my life. It's not one of the fancy Victorians like they have downtown in the Historic district, it is a charming old farmhouse that has it's quirks and certainly some work to be done, but some already has been and it's very liveable.

You see, to me, an old house represents a past, history, and finding out today that the bottom of the house was built in 1856 (the rest in 1920) made it even more exciting. As an adopted child I've never felt that I had a sense of history, and I think that's why I've always loved old houses. I would love to learn the history of the house. I imagine the babies that were born there, those people who died there when their time had come, laughter and cooking and reading by the fire and I can see a big Christmas tree there. The places I have lived since leaving the marriage have been so small the last couple of years I haven't even had a tree. I want old ornaments and handmade ornaments and popcorn and cranberries, and pugs and Big Moe stretched out asleep by a fire as I crochet or spin yarn or read a book.

The floors are all hard wood, heart pine, and worn smooth with age. The house holds many memories, and has many secrets. I want to know them all. In this house many people have made love, have shared meals with friends, generations have lived together in this house as people once did, and at one time, this area of town having been agricultural, there was a real farm here. Those days are long past and it's on not much more than one third of an acre now, but this is perfect for me. Not a lot of ground to maintain, but perfect for a fenced yard for the dogs and a place to garden. The upstairs is perfect for a studio, a writing room, a sunny room for the parrots. I will work upstairs with the birds during the day and when I put them to bed at night I will creep down the stairs to my living quarters, dogs around me, and write and read and dream.

It's a sad time of life when one can't dream their way into the future and I felt that sadness for some time. And while none of us know what our future really holds, we can imagine the near future and pray for it and plan for it. And though there is work to be done on the dear old house, as I said, it's liveable, and the bathrooms and kitchen have been redone. It is a yellow house. It is sunshine itself. I feel it's rays warming my heart. I feel joy there. I sense great happiness is possible there. Oh dream with me please, and even more pray for me, and most of all, imagine me in it. I believe this sort of thing works, seeing myself there, walking about the rooms, spreading out, living my way into one room at a time.

I simply adore the movie Under The Tuscan Sun, because it is a woman alone after a divorce rebuilding her life and buying an old villa in Tuscany that is practically falling down, and in restoring it, and learning the area, and meeting people, a life grows and as it does, so does she. I need this house. It is not fancy, it is not in a ritzy part of town, it is in a comfortable part of town with old trees all around that haven't been leveled for a subdivision. It has a wrap-around porch that once was screened in and I can see screening it in again, and having a porch swing, rocking chairs, sitting there, under the deep shade of the trees and watching the world go by while I drink ice cold tea, write in my journal, knit, crochet, read, or visit with a friend. Yes, this is my house, this old yellow house. This is my dream. Help me dream it into reality won't you?

I have to go to bed now because it's nearly 2 a.m. and by 11 this morning little Harvey, my newest rescue pug, will arrive here from out of state to join our little pack. He's had a hard life and a lot of problems but his wonderful foster parents and good vet nursed him back to health and he will have a life here where he will be deeply loved and have other brothers and sisters to play with, and sit in Mama's lap and be kissed on the nose! I think Harvey and all the others would like to live in the yellow house too. Will you picture us there?

Thank you for listening. It's wonderful to have friends travel with you on your journeys.

, sleepy, happy, and taking my yellow house with me into my dreams....


Victoria SkyDancer said...

i see you
in your yellow house
figuring out where
to hang the magic carpet
that brought you there.
and so it is. :-)

Blessings to you as always!

Anonymous said...

Many blessings wait for you in the yellow house of your dreams...

maitrilibellule said...

Thank you both SO much. Dear Sweet Victoria (did you get my note of thanks about your gift?) and lovely Jenny, I so appreciate your kind wishes. I'm going to put a picture of the yellow house up with the piece. I was too shy to last night, but I think it will help people help me visualize my way into the house.

Much love to one and all. These are still hard end days with my mother and I've not been able to keep up well with comments, but I truly thank everyone for leaving them.

Much love and many blessings to one and all,


Rchrd said...


I would like to apologize for the insensitivity that I posted on your message box. I failed to remember that your mother is ill and ... I don't want to even mention it.

My heart, with all my sincerity and love, goes out to you.

I am also dreaming of a dream property to buy. It's a coffee farm here in the Philippines. I will definitely dream with you and for you.

I am sure that all the thoughts that we are thinking would gather enough energy to become reality. That is a fact that even science cannot dispute. Einstein said so.

Blessed be your dreams and the road that you must tread to be there.


Anonymous said...

Oh Maitri, what a beautiful home it will make for you. I know well your lacking the "sense of history". I have the same feeling since I was adopted as well. I will keep wishing and dreaming and hoping and praying that the train WILL come around the bend for you!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hi - I have just recently discovered your blog. I have to say: Now THAT is a house! I love the way the front porch wraps around the house. Older homes have so much more heart. I, too hope to have one someday! I so hope it works out for you. Sheri

Anonymous said...

I will be sending positive thoughts your way in the hopes that somehow, you will find a way to have that beautiful home.

Waterrose said...

I hope with all my heart and joy that you get your beautiful yellow house! I can see why you want is what dreams are made of. Hugs and hopes to you!

Anonymous said...

To dream your dream is to dream my own for as the Mayan say:
"I am Yourself Another"
I am going to go to bed with a yellow house with pine floors on my mind. Pugs running round inside, parrots misbehaving, and a dear friend at home.

Beadsme said...

I can see exactly why you love that house as I love it too. Best of luck to you.

Campbell Jane said...

I love your writing! You have a blog award waiting for you on my blog
Have a great day
God Bless

Anonymous said...

I live in a yellow house now, with white trim, and I never thought I would live in one this nice, so I can see your dream coming true and wish you and the critters all the best. *+*+*+*+ Here's some fairy dust for good measure!

Anonymous said...

I too am a great lover of old homes. I grew up in one that was magnificent in it's day. Unfortunately by 1999 it was falling to shambles. There was not enough money to fix it up. Well, she prayed and prayed and prayed for a new house. Those prayers were answered in 2002. She had to work hard to get her debts paid off to a point, but Habitat for Humanity stepped in and built an affordable home for her. Here is a verse that has pulled our family through time and time again.

LUKE 17:6 ~ "He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you."

Ivanhoe said...

I can see you and your troop in the yellow house. Sending you good vibes and hoping your dream will come true :o)

Anonymous said...

What a charming house, and it would be perfect for you! Good vibes are coming your way!

DhoyM said...

Soon your dream will be a reality. Good luck and Take care.

Gypsygoods said...

I love reading your blog

You have won the "I love your blog" award:


Thickethouse.wordpress said...

Dear Maitri, I am breathing in and breathing out and seeing you all in the farmhouse. This should be a great time to be a buyer (the old thought that it's an ill wind that blows no good). Are you just renting where you are now? I bet there is a way this dream can come true. And will. You will figure it out........Who can help you?
Kristi in Ohio

maitrilibellule said...

Thank you all again so much. It means the world to me that people are praying and sending good energy that I may have my yellow house. It's size means I can take in more little rescues. Right now I've got room in my heart but not in my house for many more. There I could have a real HERD of pugs! :o) The newest entry is about to go up about the new little pug that came here last weekend.

Much love and many blessings and warm hugs to you all,


Donna Gotlib said...

What a wonderful house. No doubt it's coming.

Anonymous said...

Many blessings

maitrilibellule said...

I want to thank you so much. You are all so very dear for leaving comments. My life right now is topsy turvy with my mother near death and life a rollercoaster ride, so while first, your comments mean more to me than I can begin to say -- I read them, they mean the world to me, and you will never know how deeply appreciative I am for your comments -- sadly, I'm struggling just to keep up right now and can't answer in a proper fashion.

BUT I had to thank each and every one of you for being with me in prayer and spirit and good wishes for my beloved house. I truly believe it is meant to be mine. May I be blessed to have this old farmhouse, and make it a place of glowing love for my family, dear animal companions, friends and many others as the years go by.

Please know that I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

Love to all,


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