Friday, December 28, 2012

Your Spirit Has Grown So Big That No Pain Can Hold It Any Longer.

Dear Beautiful Soul...

I looked at your eyes with surprise and delight as I saw stars, twinkling, like pinpoints of light, iridescent, glowing in the center of your pupils. You have gained the ability to see beyond the commonplace and ordinary, beyond those who would judge us for our perceived human faults and frailties, who judge us by appearance alone, or by imagined status, or set our value by our possessions and worldly goods. You can see, with a kind of x-ray vision, into the soul past the perimeter of the physical body. You are finally able to see the real you, the spirit that exists, the essence of you that is so beautiful and perfect it cannot be marred or diminished by those who would try. Look at them gently, feel the sorrow they must carry inside themselves that they must cast their pain and cruelty out to try to harm others in order to seek peace within themselves. They would catch you in their net if they could, but you, my child, are pure spirit, no net can hold you, no darkness diminish your light, no shadow hide your radiance.

You are a child of light, and nothing in your past, no harm done to your body or soul, no arrows slung through your heart, can reach you now. They have fallen away as your spirit has grown so big that no pain can hold it any longer. Nothing can hold you now, nothing, and the beauty inside of you is so bright it shines like one of the most glorious stars in the firmament.

Go to a place where you feel safe, close your eyes and breathe slowly and gently, in and out, feel, see, all of the layers that have built up, like scar tissue, since childhood, and then feel the lightening, lighter, lighter, lighter, as the layers fall away. You are lighter than air. You can walk freely now, you can walk forward, you are like a newborn babe ready for a new adventure.

It's time for you to begin to build the life that you were meant to live, to have and do and be all that you know that you have inside of you. You are not alone, take my hand and I will guide you there. It is a more beautiful journey of greater magnitude than you ever dreamed possible, and it is real, it is here, it is now.

Let's get started...

From "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook,"
 copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I approach this work with my heart, soul, and spirit, and it is a lifetime commitment..

Dear Ones,

I am so fortunate to have teachers and mentors who are fabulous because they have been guiding me, some knowing and some not even realizing, toward hard decisions that I have to make in order to move forward with my business in the new year. I will write more about this but in brief I want much of my work to be open to both men and women and will have this page, books, and other offerings for both men and women because it is a deeply spiritual thing for me. 

 Too, I have to realize that my work has always been for women only and there is a reason for this. It is not because I don't have great love in my heart for both women and men, but because as a woman who suffered terrible childhood sexual and emotional abuse from 4 to 18 I really only feel safe and comfortable in intimate settings with women, and I know many other women that I have taught and worked with over the years feel the same way and can only open up to community and healing with all women. This decision has weighed on my heart heavily because I want to be inclusive, my heart is so open to all. 

 So, essentially in the new year I will be starting private sessions, taking students lovingly and gently, my deepest purpose is to help shepherd women into a feeling of safety and self love inside themselves and then in the world, and to help them shape a life that fits them, no matter how it may seem to the outside world as perhaps out of the norm, when we build a world in which we can both be safe, and productive, and do our soul's work, we have found, as we must find, the path in which we can be true to ourselves. 

 I hope any men out there will know how difficult a decision this is for me, how tender and gentle I know you are and how loved, and that there will still be many offerings for you here. I am trying to balance, as best I can, the work that I need to do, the women I am called to serve. I approach this work with my heart, soul, and spirit, and it is a lifetime commitment. 

 I send my love to all, deeply, truly, and with compassion and loving kindness. You are all beautiful beings on this earth. 


... sending holiday wishes to all and beautiful blessings for the new year... ♥

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I love you because you are beautiful, and you are willing to hold my hand and walk with me...

Dear Ones...

  I am writing this to everyone here. It is coming from spirit. It is meant for everyone who reads it. It comes through me, not from me, as all of the other messages do. It is from the soul that is a vessel for Divine Guidance. You are loved. If you are reading this, whoever you are, you are loved...

  "I love you because you are you. I love you because you have a tender heart and love without reservation and see kindness as a way of life and do not judge others because of the color of their skin, their spiritual beliefs, the country they live in, and more. I love you because you believe, like the Dalai Lama wrote, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness." I love you because you believe that no matter what your "religion" might be or if you follow no religion at all. 

I love you because you are as gentle with children as you are with the elderly and everyone in between. I love that you say something kind to everyone you meet, and smile at people on the street that you don't know. 

 I love you because no matter what is going on in your life -- pain, loss, sorrow, heartbreak -- you try to make every day a good day and do the best you can. I love that you don't try to make others carry your burdens while at the same time helping them with theirs. I love that you know that the very best way to feel better is to do something special for somebody else, no matter how small. I love that you are gracious and always say "Thank you." 

 I love that you forge ahead even when you are afraid. You let yourself feel your feelings, maybe be down for awhile, but then you get yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on keeping on. You are so brave, and so much stronger than you ever know. I love that you are finally beginning to see that and it is helping you to be stronger every day. 

I love that you are willing to admit that you are not all of these things but that you are trying, or at least willing to add some of these things to your repertoire of life lessons and experiences. I love that you walk with an open heart, and are growing and opening every single day. 

 I love you because of all these things but most importantly I love you just the way you are. I hope you will come to love yourself as much as I do, because you are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are willing to hold my hand and walk along with me while we both learn to do all of these things. We are never really alone. 

I love you, because you're you. I really do."

From, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook," 
copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule

Monday, December 10, 2012

Make A "Worry Book" That Will Flip Your Worldview Upside Down and Set Everything Right!

Dear Ones,

So much is happening so fast these days that I make a point, several times a day, of sitting down to find the stillness that is present if only we take time to listen for it. Sitting down with a pug in my lap with afternoon tea and a good book is a must at this time of the year. And as I muse during these times I think about the disappointment I felt at not being able to do this blog in the way that I had been, and now I am much happier with it than I've ever been because I feel like we are on a journey together. Someday you may be sitting with my book in your hands and while there will be so much that you never knew about you will come upon these passages that we shared along the way. It delights me just to think about it. I hope it does you too.

Also, I did want to say that I hope you lovely members of my mailing list are not too disappointed that the promised eBook has not been sent out yet. It will be, I assure you, but if you saw the entry here a few entries back you will have seen that, having it nearly ready to go out I knew that it just wasn't right. My work with SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, I know you know her books!), my mentor and teacher who is helping me with my book just now, has created an explosion of creativity inside of me and so YES! the eBook will be coming but in a completely different format and very different and very much better. I wanted to give you a handmade gift that you could use and treasure and not just trot out an ordinary eBook! So it is coming, I promise!

Today's piece for the book came to me early this morning and when I wrote it I just knew that I had to share it here because we are worried about so many things at this time of year, but in the end, worry gets us nowhere and there's really no reason to worry at all. Read below and you will see what I mean...

"This morning I watched you moving slowly into your day, doing all the little things you do, and feeling a tenderness toward you as each day comes with its own package of combined fears and hesitations, excitement and the pure joy of unexpected happenings. There is that split second as you open your eyes that you feel it all and it takes an extra bit of energy to leap into the day.

We so easily forget how precious each moment is as we rush through our day. Think back. What was the first thing you did this morning when you opened your eyes? Did you lie there a moment and contemplate the day ahead, map it out, send loving energy throughout the day ahead and approach it with a smile knowing that you could handle anything? You can you know. The thing is that we spend so much time worrying about the things we think we can't handle that precious time slips away all the while the truth is that when things come up we handle them because we have to, and we do. Imagine looking forward to your day with anticipation and happiness, gratitude for all that will come, not fearing a thing because whatever comes you know you can handle when it does, and oh the very many delights you will encounter when you put your worry basket down and walk ahead without it.

Here's a backwards sort of exercise in a world where there are nothing but powerful affirmations coming at us from every direction (... and they are good but so often we get that "yadda-yadda-yadda" feeling and kind of go blank and don't take it in because it feels like someone is just spouting the latest lingo and it will pass like all the rest...) -- write down the things you are most worried about, just for today. You can keep a worry book with bigger, longer standing or farther reaching worries elsewhere when you have more time. And these kind of "worry books" are fabulous because they flip your worldview upside down and set you right!

Make two columns. The first column is labeled, "I am worried about..." and just jot down the list, quickly, as many as come to mind in, say, 5 minutes or less. Now, the second column will be titled, "And I really don't have to worry about it because..." For every single thing you are worried about I can guarantee you you will find something for the second column. Anything from "I can handle anything that comes, as it comes, with ease;" to "I know I can call on ______ to help me;" or I have these resources _________ (write down as many as you can think of) that will make handling this a snap; to realizing that everything doesn't need to be handled that instant and that you can give yourself more time to figure it out. There are a thousand reasons we can handle anything we need to. The worry comes from "anticipatory anxiety" which is fear of something before it happens, and when you think back to these times you will likely remember that no matter how worried you were ahead of time it went just fine once it came time to doing it.

So there you are, in bed, the sun is beginning to shine in your window and your eyes flutter open. Imagine starting each day not worrying about a thing but just smiling from ear to ear thinking of all of the good that will come this day, saying "Thank You," out loud and feeling gratitude fill you like an overflowing pool, gentle and cool, and cleansing, and I bet, I just bet, you will find it much easier to spring into your day and move through it with far more ease. I'm going to be watching you with such joy. I can just see what a difference it will make in your life, and this time next week you will have turned a corner and found the yellow brick road. Isn't that grand?"

From, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook,"
copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule

 My mother passed 3 years ago this month after a terrible five year battle with cancer. No matter how badly she felt, and even when she was going through the worst of the worst of the worst, when you called her and asked her how she was she'd say, "Every day's a good day, it is what you make it." She was so brave, and such an inspiration to us all, and she was right. Every day's a good day, make it the best you can and realize what a gift it is, and a new one is here to be unwrapped every single morning when we open our eyes...


Saturday, December 8, 2012

You are watering your dreams with your tears...

Dear Friends...

My work continues, so very deeply, as I work on this book that will be out by my 59th birthday, April 30, 2013. I am writing nearly round the clock now, as if driven. Spirit is speaking to me deeply, and I am listening. As I don't have time to write a lot of entries here just now I do want to share some of the work that will be in the book along the way, in hopes that you can take this journey with me, and know how much I care about you, and how, in sharing these few small gifts from the basket I carry over my arm, I might be giving you a piece of my heart, the part of me that matters the most and is most engaged now. In that spirit I offer you one of the pieces I wrote last night...

"I saw the tears dropping quietly down your cheeks and it reminded me of the leaves falling gently from the trees to cover and protect the ground while fertile things begin to grow underneath. You are watering your dreams with your tears dear one. There is no more important work that you could do.

I saw you outside, pulling your coat close around you, cold, sad, almost unable to move, but I saw your eyes shining, and even in the cold you were wrapped in warmth and standing sturdy and strong. You are the strong trunk of the tree that can withstand the winds that would blow your dreams away. Nothing can stop you. Nothing.

You don't believe in yourself but I do, I believe because I can see the future and you cannot. I can see the seeds sprouting beneath the earth, the tiny sprouts -- your dreams unfurling. Stand close to me, I am always with you, and like the invisible forces of Nature, the mysteries of life are unfolding because you are growing strong enough to have faith in yourself. You know the phrase. "Act as if..."? That is exactly what you must do.

Do you want to be a painter? Go buy art supplies and set them up and have them near you. Don't worry about painting or beat yourself up because you haven't done it yet. Just get things here and there and create a little corner like you were preparing it for someone else, and put wonderful little touches around, maybe little things from flea markets or dollar stores, or from your attic. Wear a feather boa and have tea and say, "Oh look, someone paints here, la di da," and go on about your business. One day someone will be painting, and it will be you.

This is just an example of course. Maybe you want to write. Get any kind of blank book or paper that you like, and start collecting fun colored pens and then doodle and don't try to write The Great American Novel, just scribble and write down words that you like and make smiley faces in the O's and put hearts over the i's like you used to in highschool, or whatever makes you happy.

I don't care if you want to build a spaceship or start a chain of grocery stores, you have to start somewhere and you only have to do little things and make it fun and let it build up steam and when you're not looking, Great Balls Of Fire, someone will be doing it and it will be YOU. I swear. I pinkie swear. I promise.

I saw the tears dropping quietly down your cheeks today and I smiled. I knew you were just watering your dreams, and oh, what beautiful dreams they are, and what an incredible life you have before you. It give me chills."

From, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook,"
copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule

Do know that you are watering your dreams in your darkest times, as tears drop down to the fertile ground, like the leaves that fall and come back fresh and bright and green in the spring? We are coming into winter, the deep, soft, soulful time when much goes on under the surface that we cannot see. Know that, and be comforted...

With Deepest Blessings and So Much Love...

Friday, December 7, 2012

I Knew It Was Time For You To Blossom...

Dear Beautiful Friends... 

"I knew that when it was time for you to blossom into who you were meant to be it would happen. It was hard for you to wait, often painful, too much of your life was ruled by fear, uncertainty, and a lack of belief in yourself, but I knew. 

We must move through the world in a unique way, not like any others. We look around us and don't understand, at times feel jealous, or hopeless, or sad. "Why not me?" But you are on your journey and they are on theirs. Some of the most difficult things you will move through, and survive, are the very things that will bear the greatest gifts when the time is right. Some of the people who have survived greater horrors than we can imagine and will never see become people that do enormous things in the world that help to save others, that bring peace, love, and joy to millions. Whatever path you are walking, it is your path, and you will survive, and thrive, and when the time is right the door will open and the moment will be like the one in the movie "The Wizard of Oz" when the scene moves from black and white to full blown technicolor. But there is something you must do. 

 You must, through whatever means and no matter how long it takes, and that may be years, let go of your past. You must reach that point where you can draw a line in the sand and step over it, and as you do you will be taking the albatross that has been around your neck, weighing you down, and set it down, and walk forward lighter, freer, and with more space to let in the light and make way for the potent possibilities before you. You must realize that whomever may have hurt you in the past should not be allowed to color who you are today. If you allow it, they win. If you step forward, over that line, and into the present moment, you will be freer than you ever dreamed possible, and only then are the seeds of your dreams truly planted. Like a garden you will move through the seasons and watch them grow as you tend them, and the journey along the way will be the greatest gift of all. 

 I knew when the time was right you would blossom. It is time. Do the work you need to do to plant those seeds. It will be my greatest joy to watch you grow."

From, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook," copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule 

Coming Soon: Maitri's "Compassion Line" from Dragonfly Cottage returns. I did this for many years but discontinued it for while. I am going to re-instate it and you can call as often as you like, and even leave me a message after the compassionate message if you are moved to do so. They will be messages like these, and others in this spirit, that are part of my new book, due out in 2013, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook." The number for the phone line will be posted as soon as the first message goes up in the next few days...

I will also begin taking private students in 2013. It is a very deep experience and I limit my number of students due to the depth of the work. If you are interested in getting on the waiting list or receiving more information when it is up, please e-mail me at

Monday, December 3, 2012

A beautiful video from the pug rescue I'm involved in. It made me cry. I just had to share...

Dear Ones,

Over the years I have adopted a total of ten pugs from Mid-Atlantic Pug Rescue and they have my heart. You all know that I live with 4 now. I have taken mostly seniors and special needs little ones because those are the ones usually taken last, but there are so many in need of homes. I think this must be one of the biggest rescues because they go from all the way up in Maryland and West Virginia down to Tennessee and never turn a pug away, and some mixed breeds as well.

I know that these are hard times for everyone, especially this time of year, but I wanted to at least share this beautiful video that the rescue put together because it so touched my heart it made me cry. In a world where so much is painful and hard, what these people do just lifts my heart. 

I dedicate this to all of the babies I have had and do have, and the people who run the rescue, and especially the people who I believe are the stars of the rescue, the many foster families, some of whom take in a number of pugs so they have a warm family home to go to, and some pugs have been in the rescue for years, especially the elderly, special needs and hospice pugs. 

With all the love in my heart to these very special people, and these dear little ones who are filled with more love, and give more love, than I can even express. 

Love to you all,

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Because My Relationship To This Blog Is Changing BUT Because I Love It So Much, I Am Going To Share Things I Love & Want You To Know About...

Sweet Ones,

I have been struggling with what to do because I don't want to NOT do this blog which is so much a part of me,  but I don't have time just now to do long entries because I am really very deep into a book that is finally moving along beautifully -- YAY!!! However...

Along the way my research is ever going and growing and I am finding and falling in love with fascinating things, and writing special little pieces for my new Facebook Studio Page and I want to share these things here so that we can stay close and I can take you on this journey with me.

Just now I want to share with you a fascinating video that I have watched 3 times in 3 days and am in love with. It is:

Good Life Project: Flash and the Art of Possibility 

Click on the link above and then go to that marvelous video. You will LOVE it, I promise!!!I will be back SOON. I'm finding a whole new way to interact here.

And now, I want to share with you one of the daily, and sometimes many times a day, pieces of writing that are coming right now. Some are part of the book I am writing, some are not, but I want to give you this little gift from my heart until next we meet which will be very soon...

"I just want to say that...

I think you are magnificent.

And if a perfect stranger thinks that, believes that, with all her heart, someone that doesn't even know you, someone that has never shaken your hand, but someone who, in the depths
of her being, knows this to be true, who are you not to believe?

These are not just words to me, they are gifts from spirit. I have been given eyes to see and a heart that hears. I want you to sit right where you are and touch your cheek softly and say this out loud, "I am magnificent." Now believe it. God doesn't make mistakes, and even if you are a non-believer, if you were a mistake you wouldn't be here. Nature kills off the weak that don't belong, and yet, here you are.

You are magnificent. Don't ever forget that..."

YOU ARE magnificent. Don't ever forget that...

Warm Love & Deepest Blessings to all,


Friday, November 30, 2012

This Is An Orange Polka Dotted Swiss Moment...

Dear Ones,

What is written below was written on my new page on Facebook, the page for Dragonfly Cottage Studio where I work and spend most of my days. With much time and reflection I have truly realized that what I have suspected, and been told by friends and fellow writers for much longer, is that the time I spend here on the blog writing long thoughtful entries, though I love to do it, has really drained my writing energy which has made it very difficult for me to get my books and other work written and out into the world. As I said last time I love this blog and will still be in and out, but you will mostly find me on the new page because it is an extension of my studio, my working days, many different types of works and moods and materials and thoughts, some soft and soulful, something downright silly, some contemplative, and some for creative inspiration and sharing resources. 

I have tried to fit myself into a mold for far too long and it's gotten kind of crowded in here. To be as expansive as I want to be, as I know I can be, I have to let all of me blossom and blow up and bounce all over the place like, as I wrote to SARK today, a jitterbugging jellybean. In fact that part of she that is me will be in a new book I'm creating, and there are 2 very different kinds of books in the works. 

I wanted to share with you, below, what I wrote on the new Facebook page so you will understand and visit me there, and do "Like" the page and get on the mailing list to receive freebies and goodies and just plain old home-cooked cottage info. It's about to get a lot more active.

I'm sending you all big love and hugs, and I'll see you here soon, in perhaps a slightly different way than I have. "Maitri's Heart," MY heart, is big and holds a lot, and it always will, and it's time to share it all...


"This is the beginning of something new. 

Real new. 

Only here will this work. 

 I am redefining who I am as a writer and artist, and allowing all the facets of myself to express themselves however they see fit. There are the "Deep Listening Soul Guide" moments and those come from a tender deep place inside of me, but there's more of me than that, lots more, and so I will have different icons, if you will, with different types of entries. in different moods, voices, colors and styles. I am looking around my studio at all of the different elements that are here that I love and I am trying them on in front of the mirror. Some of them will be crazy. Some tender and gentle, some downright peculiar -- maybe -- some painfully honest, and some unabashed works of fiction -- I think. 

 Inotherwords, I am now going to use this space on Facebook as a room in my studio. Process, product, things I'm trying out, things that may succeed beyond my wildest expectations, things that will flop, and I won't be afraid for any of it to happen because it's honest, it's real. 

I am not so much a marketable product as a smorgasbord and it all started in 4th grade when I took a sewing class on Saturdays and while I was one of the only kids in a class of mainly adults we were all so painfully bad that on the last day the teacher actually cried and said if she ever had another class like us she was going to stop teaching. Sobbing, she was sobbing. 

NONE of us had finished our projects, not a one. The year was 1964 -- so be kind, although even then I think it was downright ridiculous -- but I chose a pattern of a dress with too many ruffles to count and -- wait for it -- orange dotted Swiss material. Can you imagine how ghastly it would have been if I actually finished it and WORE it some place??? 

I'm quite certain if I were the teacher I'd have jumped off a bridge. 

So when I'm in this mood on this page which is now pretty much taking the place of my blog, although it will still be there, (I can pop in and out of here at random and for fun or a few thoughtful moments but I have realized that the long thoughtful pieces I wrote for my blog were just plain draining my writing energy away. Nuh-uh. No can do. I've got books to write, classes to create, and places NOT to go.)

I promise these will not usually be this long, but I had to kind of explain it to myself and let you listen in. If you made it this far, thanks. and maybe someday I'll drag that material out and make you a dress." 

Monday, November 26, 2012

Where Have I Been? I Want To Share My New Work With You!

Click the above graphic to go to the new
Dragonfly Cottage Studio Facebook page...

Dear Ones...

There comes a time when, after all of our struggles to "figure out" what we are "supposed to do" one day it just creeps up on us when we are not looking and all of a sudden we are doing, unaware, and we look down, startled, and say, "Well for heaven's sakes, where in the world did THAT come from?" And so it has been for me these last weeks which is why you haven't seen me here. I will still be here, in and out, but I really hope that you will visit my new Facebook page because it is not really a business page, or a fan page, but a place where I share inspiration, insights into the creative life, and snippets of the book that I am writing -- the one that came to me when I wasn't looking, after struggling for years to write a book that I realized it simply wasn't the right time to write (Some of us are a little slow on the uptake!).The new book is called The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook and it comes out of a wide array of experiences, training, and just plain living life -- nearly 40 years of writing, teaching a creative journal writing class for 30 years, becoming an Interfaith Minister with an unconventional ministry that was more about taking it to the streets, so to speak, online, in person, in various writing venues, and more, sharing an open hearted spirituality that accepts all faiths under one umbrella, seated in loving-kindness, compassion, and non-judgement. I then became a Reiki Master, a Shambhalla Master Healer, and, having created a life of solitude wherein living amidst nature, gardens, and animals, inside and out, and a lot of time in prayer and meditation, committing my life to spreading love, healing, and works of the spirit as I was guided to do so, I found myself creating "Deep Listening Soul Guidance" which has already been a tremendous gift to me and others, and in sharing these pieces, which are sections of a book that will be 365 days of inspiration, guidance, and support, and many venues connected to the book and this work, as well as taking a very limited number of private students once the book is out, I have found my true calling, everything I have wanted to do all rolled into one.

While there are already quite a number of these on the new Dragonfly Cottage Studio Facebook page (a new one goes up everyday), I would like to share one with you here so that you can get a feel for what I'm doing, although day to day they may be very different, some include journal exercises coming out of 3+ decades of teaching a very unique process, but most are pieces that are spirit led in the writing, and meant to be experienced as your own guide, no matter what form that might take for you, speaking to you. The book will be something you can read in order or "randomly" flip to any page, although I don't really believe in "random," rather I believe that the message that you find that day was meant for you. It has already been so for thousands and the Facebook page is growing at a rapid rate, and being followed by people in numbers increasing exponentially by the day, startling and delighting me, and feels as if it is affirmation that I am truly on the right path with my work.

And so I will share with you, now, one of the pieces that has been read by more than 14,000 people. I hope that you will visit and "Like" the page and sign up for the free newsletter. There is a sign up form on the right on this page and a link to sign up both on the new Facebook page and on my website, Maitri Libellule at Dragonfly Cottage.

"You can't remember, now, because your days are so full and you feel, so often, as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and life has, at times, been too heavy a burden to carry. You forget that you are a miracle, filled with grace. It has fallen in the darkness of the forgotten when the blinding light of daylight allows you only to see what's right in front of you. But close your eyes and let me help you remember. Don't think too hard, just rest easy, feel my hand gently upon your shoulder, the soft kiss on your forehead. I want you to know this...

I was with you in the womb as you were formed and grew into the miraculous being that would one day walk in these shoes with unlimited potential, no matter what the obstacles.

I was with you when you were a child, and though the children on the playground were not always kind, and you didn't get A's in every subject, I saw so much amazing potential in you that I knew no matter what, and however long it took, one day you, too, would realize that potential and break the chains that have bound you for far too long. As long as there is breath in your body it is never to late to fulfill your purpose.

It doesn't matter what color your skin, what country you were born in or live in today. It matters not your economic standing, or who you know, or what you do in your daily life. You are still the miracle that I wrapped my wings around when you were in the womb, and I am here with you now, as I will be until the end and beyond. I am the angel that was assigned to you at the moment of conception, and whether you made it into this world, and no matter what your life in this world has been, it all has purpose and meaning beyond what human eyes can see. You don't even have to believe anything that I am saying. It matters not.

My only reason for visiting you today is so that you will know, deep in your heart, that you are not alone, that you have never been alone, that in your darkest hours you are cherished beyond imagining. It is not in my power to change the course of your human life, but I will never leave you, and know and take comfort in this. You are the blessed miracle who took your first breath as I watched with tears in my eyes. You have never been more precious than you are right now, in this moment.

Take that knowledge and take tender care of your precious life. Go forth from here and know that there is nothing that is not possible when you realize your worth. I already see the spark of change, imperceptibly, taking place, and it is a marvel to witness. There is nothing you cannot do, there is nothing you cannot be, and you are loved, you ARE love, love is the fuel that runs the engine of your deepest dreams. Love your way to them, and I will be right by your side. Lean into me when you need me, talk to me, never forget that you are never alone. Always remember that I am always here..."

From, "The Deep Listening Soul Guidebook," 
copyright 2012, Maitri Libellule.
And so, dear friends, I have come at last to this deep work, and my heart has never felt so full, my intentions have never been more pure. I rise to this work each morning and pray that a message might come that will help others, and I write with my tiny blind pug in my lap, and send my love to you...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Don't Let Overwhelm Overwhelm You & Gently Releasing Medication That Helps With Anxiety...

"Dream small dreams. If you make them too big, you get overwhelmed and you don't do anything. If you make small goals and accomplish them, it gives you the confidence to go on to higher goals."

~o~ John H. Johnson ~o~

Music calming me while I write:
Reiki sound healing music by Deuter
Click on his name to hear his
beautiful healing music...

Dear Beautiful Souls...

Deep Breath.

Healing reiki music fills the studio and helps my body relax. I do gentle reiki on myself and my animals. We slip into a calmer, quieter space, inside and out. My tiny blind pug is asleep on my feet under the blanket over my lap. Becoming a Reiki Master was one of the most important things I have ever done for myself. As a woman with bi polar disorder and a severe anxiety disorder when I get into these hard places I now have tools that help me through and I use them.

I have also been listening to dolphin music. The song of the dolphins calms me like almost nothing else and speaks to me in a language that my conscious mind cannot understand but my soul sings with, as if swimming through and leaping up out of the waves with the dolphins. The movement, seen and felt with eyes closed and my breath slow and regular, brings me into balance. We have to learn self-care, we have to learn how to manage life without being over-medicated. I am at the beginning of decreasing, slowly, a very powerful medication, with my doctor's guidance, that I have been on for years for anxiety. It is -- I almost said "a very hard time for me" but this is not true. It is a time of deep awareness and concentrated discipline. -- I will not allow my senses to be medicated keeping a veil eternally between myself and what lies around me. Some medication I will always have to take, but I will handle the relentless, lifelong anxiety naturally and without the aid of drugs once I gently taper off. There are so many herbs and natural alternatives, but reiki and music help me most of all. Breathwork and meditation. I just bought an iPod, the classic, not fancy, but I have been filling it with music and meditation material. I will do what I can to be drug free except for the bi polar medication that I will always be on. Less is more, and I will be happy with less.

And I have been so overwhelmed, by the smallest details, that sitting with the pugs, huddled together with their soft warm bodies and soothing music, has been the best medicine. I wrote to a very dear woman that I was supposed to begin working with once a week starting tomorrow. Something has stopped me every time I tried to do the prep work and this is not like me. When this happens I know that spirit is speaking to me and I heed the call of spirit. I have asked her if we can reschedule after the holidays.

Do not let yourself be overwhelmed by overwhelm. Stop. Right where you are. Breathe in and out slowly and consciously relax your body from your toes up to the top of your head, very, very slowly. Now get out a piece of paper and write down every single thing you are "supposed" to be doing. Now cross off every single thing that you can. 

I am working on an eBook that will be going out to my mailing list. I am very happy with it so far and it will be finished soon but I cannot press or rush myself right now and I think the best thing I can do for the dear ones on my list is to take care of myself, for in doing so it will perhaps allow them the space to be gentler and kinder to themselves. I always get the work done, and what I've learned is that when it comes right down to it there is really very little you can't cross of your list. When you've crossed everything off that you think you can let it sit for awhile and then go back and make a list of the things that were left. Breathe, relax, let the energy in your body release, flow, and go. Now, look at that list again and see what else you can cross off. Learn to say no, kindly. We must always be kind to those around us as we let go of their expectations. You may be giving them a gift, a gift that says, "Take care of yourself dear one, it's okay to let go, it's okay to say no, the right time will come, and then we will proceed if it feels right to do so."

Drift, Dream, Let Go...

This is my work now. This is what is burbling up like a gentle brook rising inside of me. My soul's calling has become clearer. I am called to work with people with a technique I have developed and long prepared for called "Deep Listening Soul Guidance." It is the exact right thing that I am supposed to do, but I tried to rush it and I pulled back. I have the domain name and have begun to design the website but I will do it when the time is right and it will be early next year. If I am to guide other tender souls I have to shepherd my own first into a place of calm and relaxation, I have to listen to my heart's call. This is the best gift I can give my students and myself. Drift, dream, let go... until later. 

I am completely wrapped in Deuter's music. My whole body is sinking into this chair and in a moment I will pick up my tiny blind girl and cuddle her to me and we will have a quiet day here. No pressures. Gently guiding yourself into this space can feed you in such a beautiful, fulfilling way that when you return to the tasks at hand you can accomplish more than you ever knew you could. We can give to overflowing from a full cup, never the reverse. 

And so I leave you now to cuddle my babies and listen to this music. I am cold. I will wrap myself in blankets and build a fire. My body is releasing a medication that it has been on for many years and it is serious work for my body, even slowly, gently, and guided by my doctor. It is the most important work that I can do now. And so I will relax into this space and be ever so gentle with myself, and enjoy the aromas, the house redolent of the meat and vegetables and spices in the crockpot filling the cottage. I am easing my way into ease. I am reaching out and touching you gently on the cheek and hoping that you might do the same. Be ever so gentle and kind to yourself. Tender. Love yourself enough to put you first, all the while holding your dear ones in your heart. Taking care of yourself is the best gift that you can give them. Trust me. I know.

I go now to make a cup of tea and breathe with my little fur girl on my belly. So tea, reiki, music, puglings, warm covers, and doing whatever I am led to do by spirit on this interesting journey ahead is my work now. 

It is time, I am ready, it is part of a new life unfolding. I am awake, aware, at peace, and so, I pray, are you...

Warm Regards and Deepest Blessings to all...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Our Work Will Take Us To Surprising Places If We Approach It With Our Heart & Mind Wide Open...

"Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want."
~o~ Sue Bender ~o~

Dear Ones,

This has been one of the most difficult, and interesting, journeys that I have ever been on.

Last time I wrote about all of the changes happening within and without, dreams unfolding, what life at the cottage really is and what it means, and how I, personally, in my own unique way, am connected to the world.

Going Deeper...

I am in the middle of one of the most intense times of my life as there is not a day I am not in at least one tele-class or tele-seminar, my work is being read and I am being mentored by more than one person in different aspects of my business and my life so that I can finally, at 58, begin to fully take responsibility for myself and my life and my finances and my future. Until now my entire life has been viewed through a pair of murky, coke-bottle-thick glasses wherein everything was distorted as if by funhouse mirrors and all I could see, all I could feel, were all of the broken, abused, fearful places inside of me. There's no way you can build a foundation for a future, a solid, secure future, for yourself, and those you love, and all that is important to you, unless you are peering at it all clearly, through glasses with a brand new prescription. 

I am getting new glasses, both literally and figuratively. I am going to see myself and the world in a whole new way...

One of the interesting exercises that I have created for myself is to carry about a huge notebook which is part journal, part dreamcatcher, part collage, part vision board, and a catch-all of sorts, and what I have wanted to do is find all of the pieces of myself that I can. I am doing this because I really want to see, discover, all of the parts of me that were hidden behind those hazy images of brokenness and fear. And, I find myself shocked to say that there are quite a lot of them.

Shocked. Yes I am downright shocked.

When you get used to seeing yourself as a broken thing you stop trying to reach for your dreams, you imagine that you will never be able to _______________,  your world shrinks to a narrow perimeter around yourself in which you and a handful of things can fit and the whole rest of the world simply ceases to exist. Now do understand that I don't mean that from that place that you are you can't do and care about a lot of things. I have, and as I said last time I care very deeply about things in the outside world, and do everything I can to help in any way I can all of those that I can reach. But since then, less than a week ago, I have come to the startling realization that there is space between here and there. I don't see myself, because I don't want to be -- at least for now, and in this moment with eyes wide as saucers looking at the world in a whole new way, who KNOWS what I might think/feel/see/long for in the years to come -- a wild adventurer who travels far and wide, and with 9 animals and who knows how many more could come into my life, I have made a choice to stay centered in my home base with these little beings that I love, that are my family. HOWEVER I might tiptoe beyond the borders of this carefully guarded world I have hidden in. Maybe. And the thing is not whether I ever do, or if I simply choose to expand my world here with little jaunts out into the world, the things is that I have realized that I have a choice.

I know, most of you are out there reading this are thinking, "Duh?" I can assure you that not for one single solitary second did I consider choice a possibility, because when you view yourself as a broken, fragmented thing, limited in scope in a thousand different ways, you don't see choice as an option at all, it really isn't a word in the lexicon of your life as you can see it as a broken person.

I looked in the mirror somewhat startled and I said to myself, "Well, gee, let's see, you are 58, you are round around the edges, you have a lopsided smile from the Bell's Palsy that never went away, but, well, (and here I will spare you the laundry list of all-too-often-written-about reasons why I couldn't do this, that, and the other from past experiences, to mental/emotional states of being, to what felt like bodily limitations...) gee willikers, you're not such a bad lot, and you're smart, and you're kind, and you love and care so very much. So let's take a look at what I have to work with, what's been holding me back, and where I want to go from here."

As I write about this in the weeks and months to come, and because I want you all to share the journey so that you, too, can see that you are a being of limitless possibilities and there is no reason you can't do every single thing you want to in some form or fashion (I'm teaching myself this so bear with me if I wobble a little, but gee, I'm even giddy as I wobble because even wobbling feels good! It sure is an improvement over standing in the corner covering my eyes and hiding!), I'm going to write here all the steps, revelations, discoveries, exhaltations, salutations, whoop-de-doos and la-di-das that come up. I'll just put down here, somewhat shyly but here goes, a BIG thing that has been holding me back and it didn't even occur to me until the last week, and it was after I wrote about doing the Dragonfly Cottage website for 7 years, and I was remembering, then, what I felt so deeply that caused me to finally bring a close to something that I loved so much.

Dragonfly Cottage was a very gentle, non-sexual, lesbian website as I said last time, meant to help and support other gentle women who needed a place to go, as I did, coming out in midlife.. I had no life experience outside of what I had known in 45 years, and I was afraid of men because the abuse in my past had been extensive, but something rather startling to me happened during those years. Men started writing to me -- sweet, gentle, innocent, gay, straight, scared, wanting and needing someone to listen to them too. I just couldn't get over it. It stayed with me for some long time, and yes there were the loonies out there that I deleted or blocked, but honestly, for the most part, they were just very kind, gentle men that also needed someone to listen to them, and care. And I listened, and I cared, and in the end I had to close the website I had loved so dearly because I felt a strong need to open my heart to a wider world, to be more inclusive, that my work needed to be for both women and men. I was right, but in the years just after the website closed a lot of life-things happened including my mother's long battle with cancer ending in her death in 2009 which brought up a tremendous lot for me and changed my life dramatically, and I kind of sunk back into the comfort of all women groups. 

I love to be part of women's circles, women's tribes, I love howling at the moon and celebrating my femininity and womanhood for all it's worth. There's something about a sisterhood with other women that you can't get any other way, and I will always have those circles and places of comfort and support in my life because they are so nourishing to me, but, with my work, I have to include everyone. 

We all have tender hearts. While I am divorced I was married to the gentlest, sweetest man in the world, I could not have had a better father for my children, and we still care deeply about one another today. I have a son whom I adore with my whole heart and two son-in-laws who are like sons to me as well. I have two beautiful grandsons. My 2 best friends are gay men. How, then, could I shape my work around women only when my heart is big enough to hold everyone? The doors of my heart are opening wider and wider every single day, and there is no turning back now. Now I know. I haven't figured out how to do it all, but just getting this far is so huge I simply cannot tell you. 

I said it, there, I said it out loud, and I am a little teary, and a lot relieved, and I am sinking back in my chair with a kind of sigh that says, "Finally..."

My work is about love. I took the name Maitri, as I have written, to be a guiding star, so that I would always remember what my work was supposed to be about. My work is about compassion and loving kindness, for the world at large, and even more, for the tender hearts that we all carry. My work is to turn the mirror around and hold it up for you so that you can see how beautiful you really are. You have to look past every single thing you have seen as negative or limiting. I don't say "I am fat, or I am overweight," both of which might be true in some people's definitions (and I'm not talking about health issues or taking care of oneself, which I'm very well aware of and working on in my life...) because they bring about negative, hurtful, fearful feelings. I say, "I am round around the edges," and I am. I am very soft, and cuddly and I cuddle and love a lot in a sweet and tender way. My grandson hugs me real big and says, "You're so soft grandma!" and it just makes me smile from ear to ear because as a little boy he may be feeling a physically soft Grandma Maitri, but I think what he is feeling even more is the very soft center of who I am, and that will not change when I weigh 100 pounds less. I love how soft I am inside. I accept myself. I fully truly completely love myself as I am today, because if I don't love myself as I am today, just exactly as I am today, I won't be able to make any changes, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or any other way. Accept yourself today. Love yourself today, and the world is your oyster. 

If there is one quote that I have always related to most strongly, felt most apt in describing myself, it is Charles Dickens, "... secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster." And that has always been me, has always been how I saw myself, how I felt inside, a bivalve, tightly shut. But... my shell is opening, and there is a pearl inside, and oh gracious me, it is irridescent and glimmering. I am a pearl, round, and luminous, and glowing. I am my own light, and I will illuminate the path before me in the months ahead while I shape the real destiny I was meant to live.

Good Lord, I'm alive, I'm happy, I'm giggly with joy, I've got so much work to do everything in me is spinning and I FEEL GOOD. 

I am holding the mirror up for you now. Look deeply and with compassion. Look tenderly, with love. Feel gratitude for this life you have been given, and think of ways to celebrate all that you have, and look for ways to love yourself more deeply. Write down, really fast, everything that you are, every single thing that you can think of that is true about yourself WITHOUT USING ANY NEGATIVE LANGUAGE, DESCRIPTIONS, OR IMAGES. Turn your version of "fat into soft," be very gentle and kind with yourself, and see what that really means inside of you, and see how good it feels. I see you. I see the real you, and you are more beautiful than you can begin to imagine. 

You are so very dear to me...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Answering Questions That People Ask & Laying The Foundation For New Work & Dreams...

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."

~o~ May Sarton ~o~

Maitri and Meyer's parrot, Sierra... 

Dear Ones,

Things are changing here, morphing, with the seasons, from an old Self going through the transformative process of woman into Crone, into Wise Woman, bringing together, at this juncture in my life, all that has come before, allowing the mature fruit to create a medley of  new flavors and textures, while still, at the same time, going deeper into what is, and not changing, visibly, to the outside world. No tossing the life I have created to the winds and sailing off to new lands, no, I am content to go deeper into this terra firma, and offer, from here, right where I am, all that I have to give. This has brought up a great many interesting things for me, and I would like to share with you both the new dreams and new work that will be coming out of the cottage, as well as answer some interesting questions that I am often asked, and that I have been asked again since the last newsletter went out on Sunday. And do sign up for the newsletter -- it's free and if you subscribe to the newsletter you will be receiving a free eBook in November and many other free gifts to come!

First -- and for ease I will put these into question and answer format -- questions that people often ask about Dragonfly Cottage and my life here...

Is Dragonfly Cottage a real place, in fact, is it real at all?

Ah, yes, and yes, and so much more than that.

You see, in 1999, in fact on the night of my 45th birthday, which was a fluke, not planned, and yet... we know that nothing is really a fluke... (4+5=9, the end of a cycle), I moved from my married home of 25 years into a tiny white cottage set up in the trees with a little picket fence around it. It was a shoebox compared to the large home I had left, but it felt safe, a port in a storm, a place where I could practically stand in the middle and reach out and touch all four walls. It was actually a garage apartment, as they are called now. They were servant's quarters behind the big mansions of the old south. The windows were hidden so deeply behind enormous trees I would reach out and hang bird feeders in them and watch as I worked at my desk, the wild birds eating just feet away from me. It was a time of loss, disorientation, a crumbling of everything I knew and loved, of all that was familiar. I was, like the Phoenix, crashing and burning, very nearly unable to rise from the ashes. But then... then the miracles began to occur.

Everywhere I went there were dragonflies. Places where there should not have been dragonflies, at times of year there should have been no dragonflies, there they were. They follow me to this day. The dragonfly is my totem animal, my teacher, my protector, the wise one who sits lightly on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. In Native American spirituality the dragonfly leads one out of illusion and into truth, out of darkness and into light, it is about death, transformation, rebirth. I became the dragonfly, and he led me from the brink of death back to life, literally. It was in that moment in time that I named my little cottage Dragonfly Cottage, and I created a website that had a 7 year run and over 1500 women came through the virtual cottage doors to sit with me in my kitchen and have tea while we talked about all manner of things. At 45 I had not only left a marriage I had come out a lesbian, had a loving and gentle parting with my husband to whom I am still very close today, and as my children grew through college and into their own lives I moved through the transformation that I wrote about for many years on the website called "Dragonfly Cottage," to help other lesbian woman find peace and grace in their lives. It was non-sexual, gentle, supportive, spiritual, artistic, and based in the precepts of compassion and loving kindness. The women were amazing and we helped one another through times that were hard for each of us in our turn, and celebrated joys and wonders, worked through the struggles that would ensue in any human endeavor, and always came back to a gentle place. Dragonfly Cottage wasn't supposed to merely be my home but a sanctuary for women around the globe and it was one of the first of it's kind with 15 mailing lists and a stable and growing community for some long time. I will always treasure the women that I met and the lessons that I learned during those years, but when the website closed Dragonfly Cottage, here, the one I am sitting in, was still very real. It was a physical space as well as a state of mind.

From that little cottage I moved 7 times from April 1999 to February 2010 when I came to roost in the Dragonfly Cottage I was meant to live in all along. The studio where I work is here -- I am writing to you from it right now -- and the large gardens I create, the fiber I spin into yarns and weave, knit, crochet, and create large fiber art pieces, it all happens here. The many rescue pugs and parrots that I write about are around me here as I type this, and at the same time I am working on a book whose purpose is to teach others to find their own "Dragonfly Cottage," however that might manifest in their lives and whatever name it shall have. The book I am writing is called Finding Dragonfly Cottage, and I write the story of how I found and created (and continue, daily, to create) my Dragonfly Cottage as well as how you can find and create your own.  

Dragonfly Cottage, for me, represents a haven that we create for ourselves so that we might be all that we were meant to be, in all of our glory, despite our circumstances, and even if no one else understands, we must live our lives in a way that works for us, even if no one else approves or understands. This can only come from a place of total love and acceptance, and it is rooted in the Buddhist teaching of maitri, the name I took as my own, legally, in 2005, when we were finally divorced. The name that would always remind me that my work, my life, were to be centered in compassion and loving-kindness, and, as is true in the teaching of maitri, we must first find compassion for ourselves. You cannot give from an empty well. You have no compassion to give to the world around you if you have not found it for yourself. When you do you can create the kind of place that will nurture you and allow you to flower into all that you were meant to, and from there life will unfold in ways you could heretofore not have imagined. So it has happened for me, after a long journey, and the journey continues on, and will continue on until the day I die.

So yes, Dragonfly Cottage is a very real place, and so much more.

A Question That Comes In Various Forms With Essentially The Same Meaning...

I am often asked some variation of this question: "If you live so cut off from the world how can you/do you care about the struggles in the outer world, war, famine, the world financial crises...?" and on and on. Somehow people think when I write about living a contemplative life with animals and beautiful gardens, reading, writing, working from home and seeing few people, that I am somehow cutting myself off from "the real world" and don't care what happens there, and this couldn't be further from the truth.

My truth, as I have often written, is that due to a past whose dark history, and subsequent mental and emotional struggles, make living a "normal life" in the world impossible for me does not negate deep caring, concern, and working in any way that I can, from where I am, to give to the world from an open heart. When I talk about "finding my Dragonfly Cottage," and wanting to help other people find theirs, I am talking about learning how to create a world for oneself, no matter what your life circumstances, going against the grain most likely, against much of what our society deems "normal" and if you don't fit that norm you are one of the misfits, and you can live bouncing from one way of being to another trying to fit in until you bounce yourself right off the planet, or you can learn to create a place that works for you. None of us will be creating the same kind of place, but the goal for each of us, with this work I'm doing, is to come to total love and acceptance for oneself and then to create a life from that place that echoes to the heavens all of the beauty and love that you are.

Yes, I care. I spend a great deal of time in prayer and meditation for others as well as myself and my loved ones. I donate what money I can and as my business grows I will look forward to donating more, but the work that I do will come from this place and that will always limit some of what I am able to do, while continuing, every single day, to open limitless possibilities for the income that I need to live, and care for my animals, and family and loved ones, and charities I care about, and tend this life I have created. No matter who we are, what we have come from, what we struggle with on a daily basis, we are still miraculous beings here on this earth with a purpose, but as with the teaching of maitri, wherein you cannot give compassion to another before you have it for yourself, you cannot fully live the life you were meant to live and do the work you were meant to do, bringing all of the gifts and talents you came to the life with, up and out into the world until you have a firm foundation to move forward from. This is my work. And it is no longer a dream as it has been for so many years, I am doing it.

Moving Forward...

In the newsletter that I sent out Sunday night, which you can read here, I quoted a woman who was for decades my Muse and in the last 3 years of her life a dear friend and mentor, May Sarton. May taught me much in our all too brief time of knowing one another through long phone calls and letters, and of her many books, her journals were the ones that meant the most to me and brought us together, and the journals grew out of her memoir, Plant Dreaming Deep, whose title came from a poem that May had written called "after du Bellay."

"Happy the man who can long roaming reap,
Like old Ulysses when he shaped his course
Homeward at last toward the native source,
Seasoned and stretched to plant his dreaming deep."

This poem means so much to me for so very many reasons, but now, at this time of year, and at this autumn season of my life, I have planted my dreaming very deep, and, no longer just dreaming, I am taking very real action to carve out not only a life for myself where I can feel safe, but a very real way that I can make a living and give the gifts that I have, now rooted in this earth, in this cottage, with these animals, with countless friends around the globe, I can write and teach and do my own form of coaching that I call "Deep Listening" which will help people bring the disparate elements of their lives together and weave them into the place where they, too, can finally land, take root, and plant their own dreaming deep.

And so now I am taking several classes, writing my book, preparing my first eBook to send out to my mailing list (There will be free eBooks that will be precursors to larger eBooks and courses that I will be teaching online. Simply sign up for the newsletter on the right side of this page to receive them.), designing my first class, getting ready to create podcasts, and by next year I will be taking clients for special private sessions via phone and e-mail.

I have been told that I could not make a living if I didn't leave this place, pound the pavement, travel the world promoting my book. Well I have learned that this isn't the case, I have learned from a wide array of teachers that with the technology we now have I can live the life I must and give the gifts I have to give from this cottage I have worked so very long and hard to create to be able to live in this world at all, and at the same time pour out all that my heart has to give, and there is so very much. I want to show others, like myself, who, for whatever reason, have been, as long as they can remember, the square peg in the round hole, that there is indeed a place for us, and we can love ourselves, celebrate all of who we are, and give back to the world. I am here doing it. My deepest wish is that I may help those who need it do it as well.

Until then I will continue on here doing my work, and right now there is an impatient little blind pug who is indignant because the only time she is not in Mama's lap is when I have long stretches of serious writing to do. Her cushy bed a foot away from me is a terrible hardship for her, so I will close here and pick her up while I reread and edit this entry.

Plant your dreaming deep. You have so much to offer. We all do. Don't let those in the world around you who don't understand sully the belief you have in yourself. You are a beautiful soul, I can feel it from here. Now let's each open the little packet we have in our pockets and put the seeds beneath the earth. The spring will bring more than you could ever imagine...

Warm Regards and Deepest Blessings to All,