Sunday, March 31, 2013

I Have Begun To Believe In My Own Dreams (And you can too!)...


  Dear Ones,

What a time it has been, a time of revelations, explorations, celebrations... one month short of my 59th birthday, I have found my way into the life that I believe I was meant to live. After longing to see my art become part of my writing process and, paired together, to use them as a means to send love and healing out into the world, to write books and sell products that would help women believe in themselves and especially women past the meridian of midlife, many of whom have given up on their dreams, I have realized that it is more than possible and I am on my way. As it says on the header for the new site which will be up in the next week or two, the work was inspired by Grandma Moses who said, "If I hadn't started painting I'd have raised chickens." Well, I think you can do both. You don't need to give up one to have the other. Today we can do it all, and I'm here to tell you that once I hit 50 and beyond my whole system heaved a sigh of relief and I felt like I was able become my real and authentic self. Still, it has been a real journey to get here.

The first major work coming out my my new business is "The 100 Ladies Project." You've seen some of the ladies here. There will be 100 of them and they are banding together to help women everywhere. Their slogan is "Ladies Helping Ladies." I am working on the book about the hundred ladies, 100 different pictures that I draw and then use photo manipulation programs to show the many colors that we women  possess and to learn to celebrate all of our colors. Each lady will have a story, and beyond the book there are many products I am designing and a movement that I plan to grow into a non-profit venture. I am very dedicated to the idea of being able to do my work and support myself while at the same time, through my work, helping other women around the globe.

It was February 20 when I sat down with pastels for the first time never having used them before and never having done anything but doodle. I didn't have confidence in my drawing because I could barely, as I always said, even draw "a stick figure." I thought if it didn't look realistic it wouldn't be accepted. Oh, how many women in the world are held back from going for their dreams because they feel that what they do is not good enough, and it's really sad because we all have something unique to offer the world and all we need is the confidence in ourselves to leap into the middle of all we've ever wanted to do. I have begun to change that for myself and in my deepest heart it is what I want most to do to help other women.

Too, when I was in school as a young child, a dreamer from the start who lived outside of the box (which I still do today), I would draw tree trunks purple and the leaves blue and the sky orange and the grass pink. I was in heaven but the nun would come around, rap me on the knuckles and say "That's terrible, you know that's not right. you'll never be an artist," and that was enough, as it has been for so many children, to make me lose belief in myself. I was in my 40's before I ever started doing little pen and ink and watercolors but they were odd little things that lived in my journals that I never showed anyone. I'm not sure what happened a month ago when I sat down and learned to draw my own way, these funky women with huge eyes, big lips, and crazy expressions, but every one is a unique individual to me and I have fallen in love with them. It has become important to me to tell their stories so that other women might see pieces of themselves in their stories and realize that they are not alone in their myriad feelings, that you don't have to fit inside any box to live a happy life, and you don't have to be accepted by society to come to an acceptance of yourself where joy and happiness can be found. Self-love is at the root of it all.

When I imagined what I might be able to do it was never this. I was a writer, and I have tried a thousand different ways to tell my story, but a story about childhood abuse, and mental health issues that broke my heart and made it very difficult to live in the world, became too painful to tell. I was told by teachers and mentors that the writing was good, but living in the place I had to be in to tell that story kept me in a place that felt too dark and made it terrifying and depressing to face the page. And then I found my ladies, or they found me, and I realized that I could deal with issue in their stories that were, if not always lighthearted, perhaps parables about living in the world with whatever issues you might have that have held you back and realizing that they are no reason to hold you back, that somewhere inside of you there are the seeds of dreams that can be planted and fertilized and grow into a beautiful garden. I know that that garden lives inside of you and my greatest joy will be to hear from women, to help shepherd them along toward realizing those dreams. If I can do it believe me when I say that you can too.

And so I begin this journey and you can find the story of my journey, and the products and courses and eBooks that I plan to develop in my quest to help you and other women like you, and all kinds of women in every color of the rainbow. You can join my Facebook page (the link is above on the right) or follow me on Twitter to hear updates. and I will let you know when the website is up because it will be the place where you will find all kinds of information about what is coming up, there will be a special section for The Hundred Ladies Project, daily banners like the one at the top of this entry that you can share for free on your Facebook pages or in tweets or anywhere you like. They are being made for sharing. They want to be in the world to help other women.

I am sending you so much love, I am here to help you find your way into the life of your dreams as I am finding my way into mine, and one day we will commune together in a community I am creating and be there for each other with resources and chatting and support to help one another.

Also, I started a newsletter some time back and it came to a dead halt because I knew it wasn't right and I wasn't sure what should go in them. I didn't realize that I was in that gestational period where this work was waiting to be born. Now I am so excited to share a number of things, a great many things, and one of the things I am now, finally, starting is a free eBook for everyone who joins my list that will serve as a jumping off place for you to start on  your own path.

Here's to celebrating all that you can become. We are travelers on a journey together. You are about to have the ride of your life. If you haven't yet started -- and I'm sure many of you have -- you will not believe how exciting it is. I am just at the beginning of realizing my dreams. I am on my way, and I'm only just beginning, but believing in myself and that my dreams deserved to be realized and birthed and shared in the world was the jumping off place.

I believe in you. Believe in yourself, and let'd do this together.


Debora said...

I like your ladies ever so much! I really think you should find a publisher and do a book!

Maitri Libellule said...

Thank you Debora, that's the plan! :)

Post a Comment