Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Process of Grief... On Losing My Tiny Blind Pug Penny...

My darling baby girl, you are forever in my heart...

Early this morning I cried so long and so hard and so uncontrollably I didn't think I could stop. I grabbed the Penny who isn't here in my arms and kissed her and rocked and rocked and rocked nearly hysterical. And 
then there was a kind of peace and calm and I believe I felt her with me. And then I laid down with my 3 boys and hugged old Sam tight and held on for dear life. And in my mind I prayed and asked Penny to show me some sign that she was with me, and in the place she normally lay when I am on my side, up against my breast with his head pushed into tiny Penny's spot, was gentle. shy little Pugsley, and he gave me kisses and kisses and then snuggled up to me. I felt that Penny sent him along to say, "They boys will take care of you now..." And now, ever since I've been up Peaches is with me, attached to me, in her own way, like Penny used to be. 

My animals are healing me...

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”

Emily Dickinson


Alliston Findlay said...

HI Maitri,

I'm so sorry to hear about Penny's passing. I hope your boys and bird bring you comfort and know that we are sending lots of love from Alberta!


Maitri Libellule said...

Thank you so much Alli, I appreciate that so much. And I send love to all of you... <3 <3 <3


Jo said...

My 14 year old Jack Russell, Jackson passed on wednesday. The grief is almost unbearable. I am here with my Pug x Shih Tzu, Zoey and repeating Robinson Jeffers's line as a mantra,'I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.' I saw him at his passing, young again, excited to be off and running.

I am 50 today, the 26th, so we share a birthday month too. I just found your blog through a recommendation by a friend and I am so glad.

Maitri Libellule said...

Oh JO... I am so terribly sorry for your loss and as you know I know all too well how you feel. It is so heartbreaking you can't even breathe. I think I'm okay and then I just dissolve into tears, and little things just broadside you. I will hold you very close in my thoughts and heart and prayers. I am just so so sorry and I'm glad you found your way here. Blessings and Love dearheart... <3 Maitri

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