Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Let Me Fall, Let Me Climb ~ "The one I want, The one I will become, Will catch me ..."

"Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall..."

From Cirque de Soleil
Sung by Josh Groban

(Click above link to
see video and hear
Josh Groban sing
this stunning song.)

Music has always been the great healer for me. My companion in sorrow, in joy, and in coming to a deeper understanding of myself throughout the process I am going through at the moment. Roughly 7 years ago Josh Groban came onto the scene with his first c.d. and stunned the world, this young man with the deep, melodic voice that sent an arrow straight through your heart. His voice a vehicle for the deepest, darkest, saddest, and most moving songs. I played the c.d. over and over again. My nearly 30 year marriage was over, I was alone, lost, and I fixated on this one song. All I could hear was "Let me fall..." In my blurred, heartbroken mind those were the only lyrics I could hear, and the music itself carried me on a journey. I was suicidal at that time, and if I went, I would have been falling with the music of this song...

Fortunately, many years have passed and I am in a much better place. I have my ups and downs, my hardships and and sorrows, but somehow, I always rise. I think it has been a growing and strengthening of faith, plus a growing strength and fortitude inside myself, and nothing speaks better to this process, moving from one state of being to another than this song, Groban's unbelievably beautiful voice, and if you click on that link above and watch the video of him singing the song while Cirque de Soleil performs, falling through the air, and rising back up again, falling and rising, you will, if your heart is open, take in a picture of life, of all that is possible within us, of how the falling is necessary if we are to rise again.

Too, I feel the message that has been so important to me -- we must let go, we must fall, to escape the chains that have bound us, the pain, the misconceptions and things that were holding us back, we must cut the proverbial strings and fall, fall, fall, and when once again we begin our upward ascent, "the one I want, the one I will become will catch me..." It reminded me of a mother bird pushing a terrified baby bird out of the nest. He would never have learned that he could fly had she not, and now he soars. We must be our own mothers, tossing the old self out of the nest and watching with pride as our brave, new, trembling Self takes flight for the first time.

I am going through some very hard times right now for numerous reasons, but I am a woman who, at 54, has grown in faith, and faith in myself, and the will to live in me is strong, is exuberant, carries me over the swift running waters that would carry me downstream and away forever. I am past the point of no return, I am walking the first steps of a new life, one I can't even yet fully imagine, but the most important step of all is realizing that I have turned that corner, and let myself fall, so that the one I would become would catch me. I have reached that place, much to my surprise, and I played that song over and over and over yesterday, crying, not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy and gratitude for how far I have come.

You've got to hear the song to understand, and let it lift you up, and let yourself fly...

My deepest love to you all,


Shinade said...

Oh i think your pick is wonderful Maitri both the music and the award.

I too am very inspired when I visit her blog. Her story is amazing and definitely full of inspiration.

I love the words to this song. Regrettably I cannot listen to the video due to my satellite problems right now.

Oh you know if anyone deserves your award it is yourself.

You always fill me with such peace. Oh my you move me to tears many times when you visit.

You touch my heart so with your words.

Love and hugs to you,

Shinade said...

Oh my it just happened again. that feeling came over me and the tears welled up.

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. As you are an artist yourself I know you understand that we are our own worst critics.

Thank you for always being here!

Laurie B. said...

I love your blog and all of your topics! I'm so glad I'm a "follower" of your blog. With gratitude, Laurie B.

Maria said...

It's great to read this blog because it is so positive and reminds me how to stay that way. Beautiful song and I love the idea of using music as a type of therapy.

Shinade said...

Oh Maitri,
My heart is very heavy tonight. I have a nephew in his early 30's that just went through open heart surgery yesterday.

There are also other major things affecting my immediately family right now. I cannot mention them but one is particularly serious.

Please do not mention it on my blog because my daughter will see it. but,my 15 year old grandson is right now as we speak out some where in the cold cold Maine winter.

There was a major argument, truly typical teen age stuff, and out the door he went with bags in hand.

My heart is breaking. I am praying that he will be okay. He didn't take his cell phone and they live way out in the country.

Please help me pray that he will turn around and come home. I am so afraid he will do something stupid like hitch hike.

There is a truck stop about 2 miles away from his home. He is familiar with tricks because of my husband being a driver. but, most drivers are not like my husband.

I am so scared and so very very worried right now. Please pray that I can turn this over to God and know in my heart that Noah will be okay.

He is my first born grandchild and so very much like me. This scares me the most. Because I was very rebellious and hard headed in my younger years.

I just had to pour out my heart some where. Oh please do help me pray!

Maitri Libellule said...

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. They mean the world to me. And oh, Shinade, Jackie, honey, I am so sorry. I am going to contact you privately. I think you need a shoulder right now.

Many deep blessings, love and peace to you all,


Shinade said...

Oh Maitri,
I shouldn't have put such a burden on your shoulders at this time.

I just feel so very very connected to you.

You have enough to deal with yourself and it was so selfish of me to put this at your feet.

I do so appreciate the support and help.

I have good news today. My grandson walked about 5 miles to the high school and then called for a ride home.

My nephew was taken off all support today and so far so good. His heart is working with the pace maker and he is breathing on his own.

It seems once again God has so lovingly answered my prayers.

God Bless you Maitri Hugs and Love,

PinkLady said...

Hello Maitri, I came across your blog through entrecard. God, I am so glad I did. Like you, I also lost hope and direction once. But it was faith that forced me to keep going. Your blog should serve as an inspiration to many women who want to reclaim their lives. There is always hope. And yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

God bless,

Bing ;)

PinkLady said...

I have just been added to your avid followers. I'm a big fan now. Hope to read more from your site.


Tink said...

How are you, sweetie?

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