Thursday, November 13, 2008

Don't Quit ~ The Silver Tint of the Clouds of Doubt...

Don't Quit...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~ Anonymous ~

I have known this passage since I was young. It comes into my life just when I need it and then drifts off into the ethers again. It has just returned. Late yesterday evening fragments were floating in my foggy mind, but this morning, with the rising of the sun, it all came clear.

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

There is the tendency, when we come upon hard times, to throw in the towel, to be frozen in time, to curl back into ourselves, in the fetal position, as if we were trying to climb back into the womb, but there is no going backward, and surviving.

Don't give up when the pace seems slow.

Waiting. Waiting for a loved one who has been suffering for far too long, and is struggling. Waiting, and not knowing. Watching a dream take flight as our heart leaves our body with the one flying toward the horizon and disappears and we try desperately to hold on like the tail of a kite. Waiting. Everything in slow motion, too slow. This is the time when it is easy to give up, to numb out, to want to rush through that which must move at the speed of molasses, to curl in upon ourselves in the fetal position and rock ourselves into a deep sleep. But then a moment comes when there is a sea-change. Something inside ourselves turns in another direction. It is possible not to give up, while still moving forward.

I have not been able to do my fiber work since Henry disappeared. I have been working on very large projects and they were too overwhelming to take up. But stasis does not serve either. Today I picked up a lovely little spoolknitter that my dear friend Noreen made, and I started spooling a cord that will be wonderful for a necklace. Baby steps, but steps, moving forward, one step at a time.

And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far...

How often have we been ready to give up on someone or something only to find that if we stayed the course we would find an answer, just around the corner. I believe that is where the saying, "It is darkest before the dawn," came from. I have found myself sitting, rocking in the dark, waiting for the break of day when the wild birds gather at the feeders, thinking that maybe if Henry was still in the area he would come to eat. With no voice due to this terrible chest cold I have I have whispered his name on the wind, hoping that he would hear me, and finally I must come in and start the day. There are five other parrots waiting for their breakfast and fresh water. The dogs are out, in, have their breakfast, go out again, come in again, and as they finish the parrots have eaten and are splashing and bathing. I make my coffee, the sun is brighter now, higher in the sky. I scan the horizon, and then I sit down with my coffee and start to work.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

No, I don't lose faith and I don't give up. I do see that silver lining in the clouds and know that there are many good things to come, despite everything. I'll pick up my spoolknitter and the white/pink/fuschia cotton yarn will make a lovely cord. There is always smallwork that might be done and once that energy is going it warms us up to keep the forward momentum to get through the rest of the day. So no, don't quit, I tell myself, and I give myself a little nudge, and I keep rolling along.

Dont quit when life sends you a hard lesson. Look at the clouds. There are many answers there...



Judy said...

Still thinking about you and dear Henry. Hoping, daily, that I will open your blog and joy will jump up to meet me! Your strength amazes me, I am one that tends to go to pieces in the face of darkness. I must emulate you more. Prayers are still being sent skyward in the hopes that one will catch Henry and bring him safely home. I do not know you, but I love you already!

Shinade said...

I am still thinking and praying as well.

I almost missed you with your new lay out.

I added you under this name also. I do so hope that you will have a miracle.

I am praying for one too. My poor and dear Sugarpuss is lost somewhere in California. that's almost 2000 miles away.

But, still every time I catch a glimpse of a furry black cat on the side of the road my heart races just a little and I take a good long second look.

But, alas it has been almost six months now and I know the odds are against us ever seeing her again.

But, still I ever and always will remain hopeful!!

I do so hope your sweet Henry will return. And I am very glad to know that you are creating again!!:-)))

Polly said...

oh Maitri! Every day I come on to your blog - thinking and hoping that Henry has managed to fly back to you. It is the Ides of November tomorrow the merry 15th of the month. Some people believe that it is a day of longevity when old friends meet up and spend time together. I hope that this day brings you the luck that you need for Henry to return - I hope that you will have good news for us all tomorrow.

Just a little extra note - I really like your new background colour and blog picture.

Take care, Maitri - we are all with you at this time.

Maitri Libellule said...

Judy, Shinade, Polly, thank you all so much for stopping in. I've had such a sad hard day. It's a week today since Henry left. And oh, Shinade, I didn't know you'd lost your cat. I'm so sorry honey, for your loss.

I haven't given up, but it's been a week, and it just really hit me hard today because today was the day, last weekend, that he flew off. I still can't really believe it, but so it is.

The continued prayers and support mean more than I can possibly say. You are all so very dear. And yes, I had to change the looks of the blog, it just came to me that I needed to go deeper with my work and in my life, and changing the name and the looks of the blog are a part of it.

Life is so full of mysteries and this is a big one. Will he be back? Was he meant to leave so that I could learn an important lesson? So many unanswered questions.

Your loving-kindness and support have pulled me through. I can never thank you all enough.

Blessings and love,


Shinade said...

Still thinking about you and I love your new avatar and your header is gorgeous.

I hope you have a blessed Sunday!

Judy said...

Hello, my dear friend. You don't have to place this in "comments", but I wasn't sure you'd read the reply I left to your comment this morning. The minute I saw the snowy house, I thought of you and your "old yellow house"; your "dream house". And then, this morning, when I read your comment about the snowy house, tears came to my eyes also. God Bless

ally said...

hi... I'm praying your Henry is gonna go back to you anytime soon... God bless!

Daisy said...

I am not doing so well myself, so I am right there with you. Having an existential crisis, wrote about it before the weekend, my priest, etc etc. I alternate between sadness and indignation.

And then you deleted a blog and startled me further! :P I just hope all is well and that Henry comes home. :(

Anonymous said...

I am delighted to have found your blog, and this post couldn't have come at a better time. I've personally been on a journey of starting/running my own small business, but with the tough times of the economy with us, i've often found myself wondering if there is ever a time when enough is enough. Yet, I refuse to give up and I know in my heart I will succeed. I'd like to pass this message along on my blog as well, as I know it's an inspiring message we can all find comfort in, one way or another. Thanks for sharing this. ♥

Margaret said...

I'm so sorry you still haven't found Henry and then when your blog disappeared too, well that left me all upset over what was going on.

Please know that I am still praying that Henry finds his way home to you.


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