Thursday, April 3, 2008

What The Morning Latté Reveals... A Zen Enso... Circles Cracking Open...

This morning there was an Enso (see symbol below) in the foam in my latté. It was so perfectly like the one below that I was startled. And soothed. And I felt a connection to the profound, to the sacred in life. You will find a wonderful explanation of the Enso and what it means here. Also, there is a wonderful entry in my favorite daily read, Daily Om, here.

The Japanese Enso above can be
found on this website...

The enso is not a perfect circle, nor was it meant to be, and yet it is the beginning and the end, the endless, a symbol for the teaching of form and emptiness, as we know in Zen, as one of the most enigmatic teachings to take in. Some ensos are perfect circles, meaning that there is no opening. My enso, in my morning latté, and in my life, have begun to open, like the one above.

The circle of my life is opening. Just barely, but I can feel it. It is open just enough that things are beginning to trickle in and out as they have not in perhaps over a decade. It is a very tiny opening, and yet there is a ray of light, of hope, of a new dawn, of the sun rising over the horizon, barely yet seen, but glowing. I feel joy.

I feel joy amidst the sadness of the losses around me. I feel joy in the pug snoring on my feet while my big black dog Moe lies at my side. The cockatoo is preening and the other birds, past their early morning raucous at daybreak, and baths and food served up, have settled into eating and mid-day silence. It is a contemplative time for us all.

I have finally begun to understand that life will ebb and flow, that there will be devastating losses and tremendous jubilation, and every other emotion and type of event and circumstance imaginable, but my job is to stand steady and firm, rooted, at the center of the circle, allowing my branches to sway with the winds of the world, and my flowers to come in their season, like the cherry blossoms in spring, but through it all, through all of the changes, if I am steady in my center, I can weather any storm.

Today I will finish crocheting my Spirit Bowl and get it ready to felt. It will then go up in my etsy shop for Dragonfly Cottage Design Studio, and all the while, as I crochet and felt, and meditate, I will be listening to an 8 hour weekend retreat by Pema Chödrön, or Thich Nhat Hanh, or some of each. It is a time to strengthen my core, while I stand in my circle, looking out at the ever widening ray of light streaming in. As I am touched by death, new life, spring, and on April 30 my 54th birthday, I begin to see and feel things that I never have before. I feel such joy with each passing year, as I grow into my true self, when artifice melts away and the soul glows out from the eyes, and is felt in a single touch. If I gently held your hand between both of mine, barely touching, simply a soft moment between us, you could feel who I truly am and I could feel you. This only comes with age, and more and more so as the years go by. I am ready. I celebrate the changes.

I was just wondering if the enso, barely open, is where I am in life right now. In the first half of life we start from nothing and grow into a complete circle. In the second half of life (however long that takes and whatever age does not matter...) the circle begins to open again, slowly, allowing us to see, more and more, the true meaning of life, our true purpose here, and once we have seen, we vanish from this earthly form to another realm. I think of these things, and I wonder.

My grey parrot Henry has just flown over to sit on my shoulder. He gave me a kiss and took a sip of my protein shake. Blossom, the cockatoo, is saying, "Hi Bird," and Moe has gone to stretch out on the couch.

The sky is grey, the morning cool, crisp, breezy, the limbs of the willowy bush beyond my patio sways gently in the wind, but stays firmly rooted in the ground. It, too, brings me back to the lesson I am to concentrate on just now.

On this quiet day I will contemplate many things. I will wonder who you are out there and if you can see me in here. Really see me, my essence, the part that matters, and does it matter at all, really? My mind is like the swaying branches, always moving, but I am rooted firmly in my chair. There is much more work to be done.




Victoria SkyDancer said...

I see you...
I see the beauty in you
I see the stillness in you
I see you in your exquisite joy and your profound pain
I see you in your fiber weaving & your word weaving & your leash weaving ;-)
I see you sipping your latte as you consider this "wondrous-strange" circle we call LIFE
I see you loving those who surround you in love
I see you. :-)

Blessed Be,
Victoria SkyDancer

Annabelle said...

By chance I happened onto your blog this evening from Etsy. So true are the words you speak and no one has ever come close to utter my complete thoughts in words like you have done here. Yes, I have been guilty of being a waster of time and then remorse at the thought that I never will have that precious moment in time return. Suddenly I have become 50+, where did all the time go? What happened to my little guys who now are teenagers? It’s like a cyclone hit me and never saw coming. From this point I realized life was short lived even more than I had thought before and was it a shock to the body!
I think you have grasped the heart of what human life is all about.
Now a day I like to experiment in writing poetry, dream of maybe someday write a short story and work at my art.
Thanks for reaching out…I do appreciate everyday what God has given me.

Glad to have found you.

Maitri Libellule said...

Victoria... oh honey, what beautiful words. Thank you so much. I bow to you in gassho, palms together, wordless, we know each other's souls.

Blessings to you dear one,



Maitri Libellule said...


I am so touched by your note. Having 3 children, now adults, and a grandbaby, I know what you mean. The time flies. And yet... all we ever have is this moment, and it is precious. If we revel in the preciousness of each moment we not only live more fully, but whether a time of sorrow or joy, we can take it, one moment at a time, and move through the sorrow, and prolong the joy.

Thank you so much for visiting and for your very kind words. Come again soon.



Sher said...

On the rim of diving into my 60's, I too am reexamining, reexperiencing and loving all time - past, present and future. Why is it that "parrot people" seem to have so much in common? (I'm owned by four feathered children and one hairy one.)


Hello Dear Blogger,
Lovely page! I liked colors,roses and loving animals...Life is more beautiful with them. All my best wishes,

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